Give me failure rather than regret
I’m no stranger to failure. In my twenties, I’ve faced plenty of failures, so much so that I think I’m slightly numb to disappointment.
Of late, I was informed that I had failed an exam. An exam which could possibly help to improve my job prospects.
My first thought was all the time and effort that I spent studying for it had gone to waste. The trips that I had given up for this exam, the annual leave that I had taken to study for it. Essentially, the amount of money and time which could have bought me a holiday with the friends I longed to catch up so badly with. A holiday which was few and far between, given our busy schedules. This also came with the knowledge that some of us would be married soon, and be tied down with family commitments. We may no longer travel together, for a very long time.
It’s a heavy price to pay, for trying. I took the exam without being confident of passing. I knew where my strengths and weaknesses were, and time was against me. But I did it anyway, because I felt it was worth a try. To get me somewhere in life.
The only thing that’s left comforting me is that nothing unpleasant has come out from the failures that I’ve faced. In fact, I think I’m happier because I failed. My life outcomes could have been better – a swanky career and higher income. But failure has led me to meet special people in my life who have made a difference. Failure has led me to pursue other interests, which I enjoy very much, like writing this blog.
All I can comfort myself is to know that I’ve tried. There’s not going to be a situation when 10 years later, I’d look back, regret, and ask myself, “If only I…” There’s only moving forward now. The future is still hazy, but I think I’ll find a way.
I leave you with Susan Boyle’s singing, of the Les Miserables classic, “I Dreamed a Dream.” It’s the perfect song to listen (and sing along to) when you face bad news.
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I prayed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hopes apart
And they turn your dreams to shame
Still I dream he’d come to me
And we would live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather